We Need to Talk About the Notary Public

For years I thought people were saying "Notor Republic" as opposed to "Notary Public," though by using context clues I was able to define a Notor Republic correctly--albeit loosely--in my brain as having something to do with notarizing documents within the geographic boundaries of our democratic republic. Our office manager at the first agency I worked for was a Notor, and I remember being intrigued. How was this woman--a long suffering middle aged mother of two who on most days was quite clear about her desire to axe murder her husband-- deemed qualified to act in such an official capacity on behalf of our Republic?

Now I know to seek a Notary and not a Notor when I have documents requiring an official third-party witness, and I know that not all notaries are willing to notarize all documents, like, say, a Last Will and Testament, because the liability is too great. This I learned when the boys were little, after Larry and I had visited the UPS store, the Fedex Office store, and our local bank, all of whom declined to notarize our will. To get a will notarized (without an attorney's office involved) you have to find a notary who knows you well enough to know you're not a scammer or a person being scammed. So I put the call out on Facebook and found a friend in the neighborhood who happened to be a notary, and he (now and forever elevated to celebrity status in my mind) told us to stop by his house that evening. We managed to arrive right in the middle of his dinner, and he stamped our documents in the presence of a half-eaten plate of tuna noodle casserole, which, for reasons I can't explain, made me feel like I was participating in something wildly improper and illicit. I kept looking around his dining room, like, are we going to get caught (trying to provide for our children in the event of our tragic and untimely death)?

It also made me wonder. What if you can't afford a lawyer and aren't lucky enough to know one of these mythical notary creatures personally? What then? This is America, after all. Surely we're not making something that's already emotionally taxing even more so? Surely we're not making something that shouldn't cost any money cost even more? (And surely we don't tsk tsk and tut tut about ignorance and irresponsibility when some people die without having executed a proper will. Surely).

If a notary is a public official, shouldn't their services be accessible to the general public?

Or is that why we call it a Notary Public and not a Public Notary, subjugating the modifier by placing it after the word it modifies, to indicate that the act of notarization is only public if the notary wants it to be MAYBE I AM OVERTHINKING THIS, WHO'S TO SAY?

But talk about a power move. It's exactly the kind of shit you'd expect from a Notor Republic* if you ask me.

*I am pleased to note that upon googling "Notor Republic" the Wikipedia page for Notary Public is the first result. Which feels like progress.

Photo by Samuel Branch on Unsplash