The Best Books I Read in 2021

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett Loved it. About half way through The Vanishing Half vanished from my Kindle. A skip-the-line library loan, I'd been given just a week to read it. I bought it immediately and finished it within a couple of hours. A great story, briskly paced and beautifully (really beautifully) written--about the nature of whiteness and blackness and what it means to be your true self. Highly recommend.

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert Pure joy and delight. The characters are so … full of character. They effervesce. The first half of the story made me want to do nothing but drink and sew costumes, and I neither drink nor sew. The second half made me want to live bigger and more boldly, without apology. Inspired and inspiring. Just perfect. The audiobook is read by Blair Brown, who is excellent.

Beach Read by Emily Henry Another audiobook listened to over many a lunchtime walk. Julia Whelan is a great reader although her “boy voice” in this book made me a little squirmy. Beach Read is a light romance in the chic lit tradition about a romance writer and a literary fiction writer who switch genres for a summer. It’s fun and sweet and often funny. A great respite from the heavier books in my stack.

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies by Tara Schuster I love a well dropped f bomb as much as—no, probably more than-the next gal, but this trend of f-bedecked book titles is so Fucking Tired. I hate this shabby shorthand for “realness” and “no punches pulled.” But this book (and its gorgeous cover) was fucking everywhere short of the supermarket checkout in 2020, so when it popped up as a Skip the Line Loan at my local library, I downloaded it strictly to annoy myself. To my pleasant surprise, Tara Schauster is a charming and funny narrator, who writes about reparenting herself starting at the pivotal age of 25. Her childhood was abysmal, her parents were horribly neglectful, and she arrived in adulthood with a very flimsy sense of self. Then—applying a variety of self help techniques (and journaling copious notes along the way) she set out to create a life—and self— she loved. Some of the phrasing she uses (calling men boys, for example) is a bit cute (and millennial girl) for me, and there isn’t anything revelatory or new in the specific ways she goes about reparenting herself (these are techniques like keeping a journal, or not withholding small treats that bring you joy—like the fucking lilies) but it all comes together in a sweet and buoyant package that makes you root for Tara and the many women who are likely seeing themselves in her story.

Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid The novel opens with a black babysitter wrongly accused of kidnapping a white toddler in a posh urban grocery store. The scene is infuriatingly believable and hooks you right into this quick paced “comedy of good intentions”, as the author calls it (perhaps giving her narcissistic white characters too much credit). The protagonist, a mid-twenties black woman named Elmira, is painted as a laid back “failure to launch.” As her friends advance in their career and she still hasn’t found her passion, she feels as if they’re passing her by, even as she excels at (and enjoys the hell out of) being Briar’s sitter. The book doesn’t comment on the possibility that if Emira were an upper class white woman, she could have married her upwardly mobile white boyfriend who works in tech and sailed happily into full time motherhood, disappointing no one. Lots to think about here as white people white and black people get on with their business. A great read.

The Lies That Bind by Emily Giffin Enjoyed my annual Giffin, despite the coincidences and cliches (of which there were many in this 9/11 love triangle). Entertaining if not nutritious.

Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano An excellent and gripping novel about the sole survivor of a commercial jet crash—a 12 year old boy named Eddie, whose mother, father, and brother, all perish in the crash. Eddie is taken in by his aunt and uncle, and the story of the six years that follow the accident is intercut with scenes from the airplane prior to the crash. Really beautifully done.

Here for It by R. Eric Thomas Essays. Laugh out loud funny. Poignant and sweet. Eric Thomas is the gay black best friend I never had and a master humorist. Loved it.

Nobody Will Tell You This But Me by Bess Kalb Unbelievably beautiful. A grandmother’s memoir written by her granddaughter. Just trust me. A must read.

Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come by Jessica Pan Subtitled “An Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes”, this warm, witty and highly entertaining memoir was both enlightening and tons of fun. The author tries everything from talking to strangers in coffee shops to solo travel, improv class, public storytelling and stand up comedy, and not only lives to tell about it, but finds herself remarkably better off. Loved it.

The Premonition by Chris Bohjalian A short story prequel to Bohjalian’s novel The Sleepwalker, this piece stands beautifully on its own. Bohjalian is a masterful writer - and so prolific. Do people give him enough credit? (I want to make sure people are giving him enough credit! CREDIT TO YOU, Chris!) he writes real people, not characters, and the sense of dread and foreboding that looms over this story is simultaneously captivating and oppressive.

The Sleepwalker by Chris Bohjalian Liked it. Dashed through it. Was entertained by it, but not deeply moved. Sleepwalking is a tricky plot device to pull off, and Bohjalian does it well, but with sleepwalkers being unaccountable for their actions, the reader is almost robbed of the opportunity to have an opinion about how they behaved.

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London Plus sized fashion blogger Bea Schumacher is cast as the lead in a Bachelorette style reality tv show. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. Great audiobook. So entertaining and lovable—and funny.

Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture Edited by Roxanne Gay For a good time you know who to call. Yours truly. These essays are so well written. It’s hard to “love” a book of essays about sexual assault but I was compelled, moved and would recommend.

Dusk, Night, Dawn by Ann Lamott Ann Lamott doing what Ann Lamott does so beautifully: offering perspective, hope, and humor.

Normal People by Sally Rooney Really liked it. So smart and insightfully written. A real character-driven novel, it follows the relationship of Connell and Marianne from high school to adulthood. Connell is the son of Marianne’s house cleaner, which creates a power imbalance between them—but not the one you might expect. Highly recommend.

The Body is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor “When was the last time you made a purchase because you didn’t feel ‘good enough’?” More than a book about body positivity or body acceptance, this is a book about freedom and how our shame and judgment of other bodies upholds systems of power and supremacy. Add it to your collection. Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell Brilliant, beautiful, and read by an absolutely fantastic narrator (Ell Potter). Maggie O’Farrell has a deft and magical way with words. A must read/listen—though I really really recommend you listen. One of the best books I read this year.

I Am, I Am, I Am by Maggie O’Farrell A memoir told through 17 near death experiences. Excellent.

The Places We Sleep by Caroline DuBois A coming of age story set in the aftermath of 9/11 and told in verse. Beautiful. I loved every minute of this book and want every middle school girl to read it. And every grown woman. I love that books in verse are getting published. That the literary world is opening up to new voices and new ways of telling stories. I would have LOVED this book when I was in 7th grade, and I don’t recall there being anything like it then. If you have a young daughter (or any daughter really), this book will be a gift to them. Go. Buy. Now.

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg So much essential food for thought here. So much, in fact, I’m willing to let slide the goofy poems and songs Rosenberg includes to illustrate his teachings. And while I think I’d be laughed of town (or at least my ad agency) if I practiced empathic listening *exactly* the way Rosenberg recommends (eg “It sounds like you are feeling frustrated because you have put so much time and passion into this project and you would like more information from the client about how your work will be used in the future, Matthew”) I still get the idea, and that alone is priceless.

The Guest List by Lucy Foley Entertaining, fast paced, multiple narrators. Gone Girl-esque. Found myself thinking about it quite a bit the day after. Recommend.

Evidence of the Affair by Taylor Jenkins Reid This is a short story told in letters. Have I told you how much I love epistolary novels/stories? Super much (please send recs). This one is excellent. And available on Amazon. Enjoy!

A Promised Land by Barack Obama This doorstop of a memoir clocks in at 700 pages and it’s only Volume One, but what a glorious antidote it was to the past four years of that tufted crotch ant infesting the Oval Office. Not only complete sentences, but profound, thoughtful, often poetic sentences and a detailed account of a mind meltingly impressive presidency.

Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall If you’re a white woman who calls yourself a feminist (as I do), chances are you have a narrower than necessary view of what constitutes a “feminist issue”. Kendall issues a stern warning that in addition to the usual suspects from the feminist playbook (e.g. equal pay, reproductive choice), foundational issues—issues of basic survival—must also be addressed under the banner of feminism. Issues like hunger, healthcare, housing, and a living wage. Feminism cannot ask all women to stand in solidarity when women of privilege are engaging in behaviors and supporting policies that oppress others. An important read.

What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon Girlfriend wrote a page turner about anti fat bias and I am here for it. “There is no prerequisite for human dignity,” says Gordon, and holy shit do we have a lot of work to do to undo the systemic anti-fatness of our culture. The conflation of thinness and worthiness, goodness, and health in this country is staggering and tragic when you see it through a fat woman’s eyes. But before we can see it, we have to believe it—and we just don’t. We refuse to believe fat people when they tell us what it’s like to live in a fat body. We refuse to believe fat people when they tell us they eat and exercise just like we do. We just don’t believe it. Why are we so committed to the narrative that fatness is a choice? Gordon puts the “take da cookie out yo mouth” sayers to shame and convinces us that instead of examining fat people we need to examine our beliefs about fat people. Start here. Start now.

Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney Hmm. What to make of this. I listened to the audiobook. I found it compelling. But I can’t quite put my finger on why. Part coming of age story, part quasi modern love triangle, the novel explores questions of identity, boundaries, and betrayal. In a stealthily meta way, it asks how much our perceptions of other people shape the behavior of those people to align with our perceptions. Interesting. I think I liked it.

Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison Amazing. Powerful. A story and language you could spend a lifetime dissecting. And, to fully own my heart, a central theme of the novel is one of my favorite subjects: names—the ones we’re born to and the ones we’re given, and the ones we give away. This novel and its commentary on race feels especially poignant this year. If you haven’t read it, move it to the top of your stack.

Being Lolita: A Memoir by Alisson Wood Hoo boy. This story enraged me. I wanted to reach through the pages and set fire to Wood’s high school English teacher, who grooms her, manipulates her, abuses and controls her, modeling their “romance” after Nabokov’s Lolita. Somehow, everything and nothing is shocking about Wood’s experience. Despite the unimaginable horror of it, there was not one detail I couldn’t imagine happening to my teenage self.

Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child With No Strings Attached by Hillary Whittington Beautiful. The Whittington’s story is such an important one. Ryland, who was assigned female at birth, was born profoundly deaf, though it was not diagnosed until later. Ryland’s mother carried tremendous guilt for not recognizing Ryland’s deafness sooner, which plays a role in how she responds when, after receiving cochlear implants around the age of two, Ryland begins to communicate his own gender dysphoria in subtle and not so subtle ways: A refusal to wear girl clothes or play with girl toys, insistence on peeing standing up, an aversion to swimsuits, and on and on until his parents knew without a doubt it was not a phase or the simple preferences of a tomboy. Their “daughter” was transgender, and the longer they delayed embracing him, the worse off their child would be. How they chose to respond is so beautiful and touching and right. The world needs infinitely more of this.

Wordslut by Amanda Montell The book is subtitled “A feminist guide to taking back the English language”—which is intriguing, if not completely accurate. It’s more like a smart, funny, and totally accessible introduction to the fascinating field of sociolinguistics, through a feminist lens, at a time when the words we wield (and the way we wield them) matter more than ever. (Which, yes, would have been a bit much to cram on the cover). I LOVED IT. Linguistics is one of my many jams—and I devoured this puppy in a day. I couldn’t wait to read Montell’s next release: Cultish: The Language of Fanatacism (cults being another subject I find endlessly fascinating).

Arbitrary Stupid Goal by Tamara Shopsin Loved. It. An unconventional and thoroughly delightful memoir about growing up in Greenwich Village. Insightful and funny and heartfelt and weird and wonderfully, perfectly New York.

The Premonition: A Pandemic Story by Michael Lewis Michael Lewis is a phenomenal storyteller. Last year, with The Fifth Risk he turned government bureaucracy into a page turner. With The Premonition he takes us behind the scenes of the Covid-19 Pandemic—and the years leading up to it—to show how our response went so disastrously awry. While it’s a story about how to beat a pandemic, it’s also a story—and warning—about our nation’s dueling Achilles heels: government bureaucracy’s pathological aversion to risk and the private sector’s pathological aversion to prioritizing people over profits.

Is This Anything? By Jerry Seinfeld A compilation of Seinfeld’s best standup material? Yes please, and thank you. Laughed out loud, hearing Jerry’s voice in my head.

Justice by Michael J. Sandel Sandel is a political philosopher and Harvard professor who has an amazing knack for illuminating complex philosophical ideas and applying them to many of today’s most pressing and controversial issues (the role of politics, free markets, abortion, marriage equality, affirmative action) This is a mind opener, for sure, as it teaches us not necessarily what to think but how.

Caste by Isabel Wilkerson Another one for the essential anti-racist reading list. Wilkerson frames systemic racism in the United States as part of an unacknowledged caste system, akin to the caste systems of India and Nazi Germany—rigid, fixed and impossible to act your way out of. This framing—which rings so true and so counter to American “meritocratic” ideals—explains so much about our country’s contradictions (why, for example, poor whites seem to vote against their own economic interests). It also (perhaps oddly) gave me hope that we can dismantle this injustice, if we can name it.

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism By Amanda Montell Amanda Montell is a wonderful writer and tour guide. Devoured this in a day. If you’re interested in the language of persuasion and how groups of all kinds use it to manipulate and indoctrinate us, you’ll find Cultish fascinating. And if you follow Montell on Instagram, you’ll see she’s developed quite a cult following herself.

The Organized Mind by Daniel Levitin A big (awesome) book, packed with tons of interesting ideas about how our brains process, organize, store and access information. Levitin talks about organizational systems and why some work better than others, why we forget people’s names when we’re first introduced, why it’s so difficult (even for doctors) to determine the best course of treatment when faced with various probable outcomes … and much much more. Fascinating, useful stuff. I loved it.

A Very Punchable Face by Colin Jost Laugh out loud, shake the bed cry laughing funny. Come for the SNL behind-the-scenes, stay for the pants shitting. So much pants shitting. So good.

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami This is a long one. Clocking in at over 1,150 pages, and it's not exactly fast reading. But it's not slow or dry by any means. It's just … Murakami. A weird cocktail of fantasy and reality, meaning and metaphor. 1Q84 is a story about destiny, about the role of coincidence in our lives, about what constitutes our "true selves", and the mysterious hidden forces that guide us. If you're a fan of Murakami's dreamy style of storytelling, this is a pretty fascinating ride.

I Hate Men by Pauline Hamange A short collection of essays that make a (quite reasonable, imho) case for misandry. The title is provocative, obviously--and for some it's such a turnoff that they dismiss the whole shebang (pun intended), without reading a word, muttering to themselves about how "women hating men is just as bad as men hating women." But it's not. And that false equivalency gets right to Hamange's point. "Taking offense at misandry, claiming it's merely a form of sexism like any other, and no less unacceptable (as if sexism were genuinely reviled), is a bad-faith way of sweeping under the carpet the mechanisms that make sexist oppression a systemic phenomenon buoyed throughout history by culture and authority. It's to allege that a woman who hates men is as dangerous as a man who hates women--and that there's no rational justification for what she feels." A worthwhile (and succinct) read.

How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell I have a hard time believing this book was a bestseller. Not because it’s not good (it is very good), but because it’s difficult reading. It’s the kind of book that demands you stop and think and go back and reread every paragraph or so. (So … not exactly an exercise in doing nothing.) It’s also (despite a very clear title indicating what it’s “about”) hard to pin down. In a similar vein as Leslie Jamison, Odell takes a very learned, academic approach to her subject, toggling back and forth from personal to philosophical and back. I wanted to close the book and immediately start again.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman Sweet, entertaining, funny—Eleanor is a quirky and endearing young woman who has no earthly idea how to “normal”. She lives alone, has few hobbies beyond a passion for crossword puzzles, works in accounts payable at an ad agency, where her coworkers snicker at her behind her back, and she has not a friend in the world—until fate intervenes, and she’s forced to reckon with the dark past that’s holding her back.

Matrix by Lauren Groff Lauren Groff is a damn word sorceress and this novel is so beautiful. It’s about ambition, and beauty, and love, and desire, and vision—and visions—and also nuns. Brilliant.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig Loved loved loved it. The audiobook is read by Carrie Mulligan who is fantastic, if you like audiobooks. This is the story of Nora Seed, a depressed and anxious young woman who feels she has no place and no purpose in the world, and what happens when she decides to take her own life. A must read.

Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke Amusing, fast-paced workplace romp with a twist: one member of a PR team gets absorbed into the office Slack channel and can’t get out. His colleagues think it’s a weird joke, except for one, who steps up to care for his disembodied (disimpersoned?) friend.

Broken Harbor by Tana French Perfect reading for a fall break beach vacation. French is such a good writer, she elevates the police procedural to a literary art. I think the one frustrating aspect of this story may also be its brilliance (and I will put this in a way that won’t offer any spoilers); the ending you hope for as a reader is the same one the primary suspect does. If only it were that simple.

In Shock: My Journey from Death to Recovery & the Redemptive Power of Hope by Rana Awdish The incredibly powerful story of an ICU doctor who becomes a critical care patient. Dr. Awdish is a phenomenal writer--and the details of her medical condition, treatment and recovery are riveting (and not for the faint of heart). What makes this book so beautiful and important is the perspective she gains from being a patient--and how she channels it to transform the way doctors interact with their patients. Many of the reviews say this memoir should be required reading for physicians. I think it should be required reading for everyone.

Where Am I Now? True Stories of Girlhood and Accidental Fame By Mara Wilson Remember the little girl from Mrs. Doubtfire, Miracle on 34th Street and Matilda? This is her memoir. Miracle on 34th Street — the remake with Dylan McDermott and Elizabeth Perkins — is my favorite Christmas movie, and Mara Wilson’s performance is a huge part of it (as is the fact that Patrick, even at 15, will sit down and watch it with me because it’s his favorite too.) So, I was curious to see what the grown up Mara would choose to share about those days—and these days. And I was charmed. She’s a writer and storyteller, so this isn’t a ghostwritten celebrity memoir (though I’m not opposed to those either). She’s just a sweet and charming narrator of her own life—earnest in her telling of an extraordinary ordinary life in and out of the spotlight.

Where the Grass is Green and The Girls Are Pretty by Lauren Weisberger Ready for a beach read? This is a solid choice, from the author of The Devil Wears Prada. Quick, light, a bit over the top and ridiculous (though no more ridiculous than what we see on the news). It was fun.

Tacky: Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have to Offer by Rax King It’s rare to read an essayist whose work is equal parts witty and earnest—like, exactly 50/50. Rax King is a culture lover, with an emphasis on lover. Her love of the Cheesecake Factory is not ironic, it’s thoughtful and considered. The collection could be described as an answer to the call of a Mary Oliver poem to “let the soft animal of your body love what it loves” and then really ask yourself why.

Truth, Lies & Advertising by Jon Steel If you’ve ever wondered what role qualitative research plays (or *could* play) in developing effective advertising, this is the quintessential book on the art of account planning. I read this for the first time a decade or so ago (it was first published in 1998) and decided it was time for another pass. The lessons are as fresh and timely as ever, though definitely targeted to a specific audience.

The Wife Upstairs by Rachel Hawkins This loose modern day retelling of Jane Eyre is a well-paced and entertaining page turner. Suspenseful—and oddly sunny at the same time. I liked it.

Tarot for Change by Jessica Dore I bought a deck of tarot cards several years back, because I thought the artwork was especially intriguing and beautiful. (The Wild Unknown Tarot by Kim Krans). I’d dabbled with the deck here and there, for kicks, looking up the meanings of the cards as I drew them. I’m by no means a woo woo mystical type, but I am very drawn to symbolism and how we can use it to tell stories and understand ourselves and our place in the world. That’s how I approach the tarot. It’s a tool. (And at times a pretty powerful one). For some reason—late in 2021, I felt a strange pull to really study the cards and the different meanings attributed to them. I’ve been studying the cards and reading different interpretations of them, committing the themes and ideas to memory, so they could be of greater use to me (though I’m not entirely sure yet what that means). In Tarot for Change, Dore (a licensed social worker) draws on various schools of psychology and therapeutic modes (from Jung to Joseph Campbell to Buddhism to CBT and DBT) to reflect on the universal themes revealed in the cards, offering a much richer and more nuanced read of the tarot. Very worthwhile.

Modern Tarot by Michelle Tea This is a fun and very accessible guide to the cards, compatible with any deck (though closely aligned with the Rider-Waite). Michelle Tea, a queer, feminist, witch, mother, writer is a charming tour guide, who shares personal stories to illustrate the energies and attributes of the cards. She also includes magic spells designed to attract or deflect the energy of each card (depending on whether a card is a positive or negative force). I have no doubt somebody got time for that, but that somebody for sure isn’t me. (I draw the line at magic spells. For now.)